How to Exit Gracefully

Illustration: Graham Roumieu

1. Spread rumours that you’re quitting before giving your notice. This way your boss will be less surprised.
2. Start skipping meetings. You’d just be tuning out your colleagues anyway.
3. Haphazardly finish your final assignments so you can relax during your last week.
4. Leave your workstation as is, giving colleagues something to remember you by.
5. Give your replacement minimal help and instruction. People learn best when thrown into the deep end.
6. For a cathartic release, go public with the company’s secrets you’ve been holding onto.