BC Business
For the past decade, networking experts Gayle Hallgren-Rezac, Judy Thomson and Darcy Rezac at Shepa Learning Company have been surveying their clients to discover their networking challenges. Based on more than 5,000 survey responses, they have suggested the following solutions to the top 10 challenges.
As an introvert, it’s smart to recognize that one-on-one and small groups are the most comfortable way for you to network. Asking someone out for coffee or joining small meet-up groups are good ways to network, but what if you have to attend a bigger event? In business and life, there are networking events you can’t escape, such as a company event, a conference or a friend’s wedding. Here are some ideas to make these events more enjoyable.
What is your networking challenge? Perhaps we can solve it for you. Contact us at: tips@shepalearning.com
This is a mind-over-matter issue because there’s an infinitesimally small chance that anything really awful is going to happen. You won’t be struck by lightning. The floor won’t open up and suck you into Middle Earth. But even if you realize that it is not life-threatening, no one likes the potential of rejection. An example of networking rejection is starting a conversation with someone only to have them put up a “wall.” When this happens, it’s easy to react to their reaction. Why doesn’t this person want to talk to me? Does this person not like me?
These thoughts are happening at a neural level. Daniel Goleman, author of Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships, explains it this way: “The brain’s areas for movement and emotion are peppered with mirror neurons,’ a newly discovered class of brain cells that act like neural Wi-Fi. These neurons specialize in tuning into the person we are with and creating in our brain a replica of the other’s emotions, actions, and intentions—tuning us to their wavelength.” In other words, emotions are contagious.
Once you understand what is happening, you can protect yourself from this unnerving situation. Instead of catching their negative virus, act confident?even if you have to fake it. Continue to smile, stay focused, keep your body language open and maintain the conversation in a positive manner. Your goal is to leave that person with a mirror of your positive emotions, actions and intentions. No matter what the outcome, if you understand what is happening at a neural level, you will feel you are in control of a positive outcome for yourself.
This is where experience is a huge asset. Your self-assurance comes from getting used to networking and practising the skills. There is no substitute. Next time you want to break into a group, try these techniques:
How can you be a Positive Networker if you are one of the people in the group who notices someone who wants to join your circle of conversation? Immediately acknowledge the new person with a smile. Move so there is room for the person to join the circle. Then, when there’s a break in the conversation, bring the person into the group, “Please join us. Let me introduce you to everyone.” Having these social skills are good for your reputation, plus it’s the right thing to do.
We can relate to this challenge. Who hasn’t been engaged in small talk, while thinking, Wow, this is pretty lame. Seriously, I’m talking about the weather?
It’s true, sometimes there’s a you-can’t-put-your-finger-on-it kind of awkwardness in conversations. Not every time you meet someone does there have to be an instant and amazing connection. Our advice, from years of networking, is don’t overthink it. But in case you are wondering, here are a few things that may be causing this non-harmonic convergence.
Exiting a conversation is one of the harder things to do when circulating in the networking pond. Finding the correct moment to do it and not sounding too harsh are a couple of the challenges. Let’s start with “what not to say”:
Instead of these brush-off sentences, become skilled (and kind) at exiting a conversation.
You’ve actually answered part of this time-challenge question; you need to schedule it! Networking falls to the bottom of most priority lists as the “real” work keeps piling up. It may be your best intention to do more networking, but unless you book it in your calendar, it probably won’t happen. You can also improve your chances of not cancelling if you invite someone to accompany you. That doesn’t mean you have to pay for them, but making a commitment to go to the event with someone will keep you from bailing.
Prioritizing networking may be a challenge, but investing the time to build a network actually saves you time in the long run. Sandra Yancey, founder of eWomen Network, describes it best: “Knowing how to pick up the phone and get something done through your network is more powerful than a fancy title or corner office.”
If you consider networking to be a marketing cost, then the $100 for a board of trade, chamber or business event is money well spent if you circulate and follow up. But you do not always need to fork out big bucks for events. Regularly Google “business networking events” or “events” and you’ll be surprised at the number of cool low- or no-cost events happening where you live.
It is important to put marquee events into your marketing budget. These are the big-ticket events, anything from listening to David Foster share his story to attending a hospital foundation gala. Marquee events are important because everyone in the business community shows up. It’s networking at its best.
Finally, it is worth remembering that everyday situations provide natural opportunities to build your network?riding your office elevator, standing in line for coffee, attending your children’s sporting activities. Networking is an attitude, not an event.
If you are looking for a group that fits, you should look for networking opportunities that complement your business needs, as well as your personality and passions.
Here are some questions worth asking yourself:
The most important thing to remember is that it takes time to build relationships with new people. Keep going back; don’t give up. Pretty soon it will feel like Cheers, where everyone knows your name.
Do you want to learn how to walk into a room solo? Here are 5 great tips for networking solo.
Dr. Daniel Muzyka, CEO of the Conference Board of Canada and former dean of the Sauder School of Business, in the afterword to Work The Pond! says, “If we spend little time interacting in social, business and community activities, our network won’t disappear, but it will depreciate like any aging asset. Network interaction—especially where we add value through our ideas and support—helps maintain the asset.”
Here are some things to consider regarding follow-up:
Here are some ideas to maintain relationships:
“Top 10 Networking Challenges Solved” is based on comments from our anonymous online surveys, and we are always surprised by the candidness of the respondents. This challenge of believing that you “don’t have something to contribute” or “people won’t be interested” in what you have to say doesn’t just happen to networking newbies, it is expressed no matter what the level of experience, and from both men and women.
There are some practical actions to take before going to a networking event that will help you be more confident in your contributions to the conversation.
If the event has a topic, a guest speaker or panel, do a little research before you show up. That way when you ask someone, “Have you heard this speaker before?” you’ll have some knowledge to add to the conversation and can add, “I was surprised to learn he has spoken at TED before.” This conversation can easily move on to TED Talks, and you can ask what are their favourite TED talks (and share yours). That’s how easy it is!
Other ways to be more prepared to contribute:
And, most importantly, turn off what Arianna Huffington calls the “obnoxious roommate living in your head” who says, I don’t think you bring as much to the table as others. Change your mantra to these three thoughts:
Gayle Hallgren-Rezac, Judy Thomson and Darcy Rezac, principals of Shepa Learning Company, are business networking speakers and authors of Work the Pond! Use the Power of Positive Networking to Leap Forward in Work and Life (Penguin/Prentice Hall)