$6 million for a magenta mansion with its own ballroom

Each week, BCBusiness takes you inside one of the most outrageously upmarket real estate offerings in the province

Address: 1388 West 54th Avenue, Vancouver
Price: $5,680,000
MLS: R2129887

The skinny: Four-bedroom, five-bathroom, 4,992-square-foot house on a 8,320-square-foot lot in South Granville.

The bling: Magenta. It’s what stucco cries out for. Really: you’re in the pink—may as well let the rest of the street seethe with envy, right? Let them wonder at the wonders that must take place within such a bold, uncompromising shell of a house. Little do they know the full extent of the glories to be found hidden behind that oh-so-underwhelming throwback-to-the-1970s front door. First, that funny-looking, bevelled roof addition that throws the expected line of the house off with admirable insouciance? Why, that’s your sitting room—a unique space apparently designed to recreate the atmosphere of a Best Western conference room, its curved pretensions only serving to highlight its broader absence of style. Innovation abounds in the kitchen, where the unusually low-slung kitchen island has been ingeniously converted into a dining table by the addition of chairs. This could catch on. But it’s the basement where the real magic happens. Yes, there’s a rec room and a nanny suite. But who cares about such mundane offerings when there’s a bona fide jewel hidden within? This is where the inner you—the person who sees a magenta-painted stucco house and swoons with desire—can feel truly at home. Here, in your very own ballroom, life is complete. Just add sequins and the soundtrack from Frozen and you too can be a Disney Princess.

The hidden extras: Talking of Frozen, you see how there is no snow on the path up to the house? That’s because someone cleverly predicted Vancouver would get a once-in-50-years hard winter at least once every 50 years, and installed heated walkways (no, I’m not kidding, HEATED WALKWAYS) in the front and back. There’s just no hiding real class.